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Re: Begin Last Call on draft-ietf-opsec-current-practices-06

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Some nits, mostly...

1.1 Scope

"Securing the actual data traffic is outside the scope of the conducted
survey."

Replace with:

"The survey did not include questions on techniques used to secure data
traffic."

or some such....

==

2.1.2

"Individual users are authentication to get basic access."

I think this is just replace "authentication" with "authenticated."

==

Section 2.3

In the first sentence in the paragraph, replace "separate path as," with
"separate path than," I think.

==

The first paragraph of section 2.3.2 needs to be reworded, I think (?).
Perhaps:

"OOB is done via terminal servers located at each site, and SSH access
is used to access these terminal servers. Dial-in access is generally
configured as well, to provide access to the site when the network is
not operational. Dial-back, encrypting modems, and/or one time passwords
are generally used instead of plain dial-in services.

==

2.3.2, later on....

"....in place to change these community strings between 30-90 days."

Replace "between" with "every."

==

2.3.3

Bullet "Data Integrity," replace "noone" with "no-one."

==

2.3.3

Bullet "Auditing/Logging," this seems to be a bit awkward. Perhaps.

"Using AAA services provides an audit trail, which logs user access and
activity."

==

2.3.4

"to manage those device."

I think "device" should be plural.

==

2.4.2

Add a "the" between "in" and "process" in the last paragraph.

==

2.6.7

Replace the first sentence with:

"Images and configurations are stored on specific hosts to which users
have limited access."

or some such....

==

There might have been others that I didn't mark while I was going
through it....

Technically, it looks fine....

:-)

Russ

Ross Callon wrote:
> This begins working group last call on
> draft-ietf-opsec-current-practices-06
> "Operational Security Current Practices".  The last call will terminate two
> weeks from tomorrow (Tuesday August 8th).
> 
> Comments to the list please.
> 
> thanks, Ross

- --
riw@cisco.com CCIE <>< Grace Alone

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