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Re: AD review of GMPLS SONET documents



Editor's of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-sonet-sdh-extensions-03.txt,

Please remove my name from the authors list on page 1 and the contributors list
on page 12.

Thanks,

Maarten

"Wijnen, Bert (Bert)" wrote:
> 
> As AD I reviewed these documents:
> 
>  draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-sonet-sdh-05.txt
>  for Proposed Standard
>  draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-sonet-sdh-extensions-03.txt
>  for Informational.
> 
> Below are my findings that I would like to see addressed
> before I request an IETF Last Call.
> 
> For both documents:
> 
> 1. Need to reduce the number of authors/people on front page.
>    The docs will not be considered again unless you comply
>    with the guidelines in section "Author overload" in
>     http://www.rfc-editor.org/policy.html
> 
> 2. I expect that RFC-Editor will reject the Acronyms in the
>    title and abstract.  See also the "Choosing titles" and
>    "abstract" sections in
>     http://www.rfc-editor.org/policy.html
>    I believe that the RFC-Editor wants these acronyms expanded:
>      SONET, SDH, SONET/SDH
> 
> for  draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-sonet-sdh-05.txt
> 
> 1. I think that normative references are needed to documents
>    ANSI T1.105 and ITU-T G.707 as I think one cannot understand
>    much of this doc if you ignore those ANSI/ITU-T documents.
> 
> 2. It seems to me that this document should not reference another
>    doc that specifies non-standard extensions. At least, if it
>    does so, then maybe once in the iuntroduction is enough.
> 
> 3. Last para on page 4.
>    I do not understand this. Can you clarify?
> 
> 4. On page 6 in the middle I read:
> 
>      This field is set to one (default value) to indicate that
>      exactly one instance of a signal is being requested. Zero is an
>      invalid value.
> 
>    So how does the requestor know requested value has been accepted?
>    And what needs the receiver do if the "invalid value zero" is
>    requested?
> 
> 5. Page 7 in the middle:
> 
>      Where bit 1 is the low order bit. Others flags are reserved,
>      they should be set to zero when sent, and should be ignored
>      when received. A flag is set to one to indicate that the
>      corresponding transparency is requested.
> 
>    So how does requestor find out which values have been accepted?
>    By the way s/Others flags/Other flags/
> 
> 6. I would think that the 1st sentence on page 8 better be
>    removed.
> 
> 7. Middle of page 10, may want to add refrence to G.707
> 
> 8. Page 10 talks about "higher ordered LSP" and "lower ordered LSP"
>    Where are those terms defined? May want to explain or reference.
> 
> 9. Page 13 talks about "highest part" and "lower part" of a label.
>    Might be good to define what you mean by that.
>    How about "lowest label"?
> 
> 10. You have quite a set of values that you assign in this document.
>     For various fields in the SONET/SDH paramters data structure
>     and also for various parts of the labels for SONET/SDH.
>     The extensions document adds additional (optional) values
>     to those fields. You also suggest that other documents could
>     add values fro G.832 or G.708.
>     How do we keep control over such value assignments/usage?
>     Is that something that IANA should control?
> 
> 11. In the IANA considerations section you may want to be
>     more explicit as to the name-space in which IANA
>     needs to make new assignments.
> 
> less serious, but once you're at it...
> 
> 11. sect 2.1 1st sentence
>     s/is organized/are organized/
> 
> 12. I see various use of Upper/Lower case for
>     Elementary Signal/elementary signal.
>     I think it may beuseful to exlain what Elementary
>     Signal and Final Signal are.
> 
> 13. Last para page 4
>     s/node chosen/node has chosen/
> 
> 14. I see the use of SONET/SDH and SDH/SONET used arbitrarily
>     Would it not be better to choose one form? And let that
>     be the same as in the other GMPLS documents?
> 
> for  draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-sonet-sdh-extensions-03.txt
> 
> 1. Last para on page 2 seems "marketing" that we do not need.
> 
> 2. Top of page 3.
>      This document doesn't specify how to implement these features in
>      the transmission plane but how to control their usage with a GMPLS
>      control plane.
>    My question is: Is there any document anywhere that explains
>    how to implement in the transmission plane. If yes, then a
>    reference to such document would be usefull.
>    If not, then how can anyone create interoperable implementations.
>    And if they cannot do that, then why is this document useful?
> 
> 3. Security considerations.
>    I think I would add a ptr to the doc(s) where the security
>    mechanisms are described, just as you did for base sonet/sdh doc.
> 
> less serious:
> 
> 4. I see the use of SONET/SDH and SDH/SONET used arbitrarily
>    Would it not be better to choose one form? And let that
>    be the same as in the other GMPLS documents?
> 
> Thanks,
> Bert
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